Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
