even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
