No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
