remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Are we still banned from the library?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
