I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
