Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
