Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
