Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
