my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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