Princesses don't give blow jobs
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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