I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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