You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
