i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
