I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
