I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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