The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
