I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
