I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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