i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
