After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
