oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
