You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
