Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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