new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He better not be in your backpack
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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