Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
