butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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