I want to have your abortion
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
