if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize