I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
