she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
