There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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