i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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