I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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