To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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