I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
