just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
