Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
