I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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