walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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