Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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