This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
