No stitches, just platelets and will power
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
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