so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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