ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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