i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He has the fingertips of a God
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