oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
