Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
