i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
