At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
