is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
