My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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