you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize