All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
