weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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