Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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