i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
