Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Randomize
