I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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