If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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