I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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