How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
