i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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