I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
