Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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